A Heartfelt Reflection on Grief, Self-Care, and Filling Your Cup: In Loving Memory of My Beloved Sister, First Lady Joyce Richardson Upshaw
Dear friends, family, and community,
My heart is heavy as I share this with you. As Coach Jennifer, I’ve always been passionate about guiding others through life’s challenges with wellness, self-care, and emotional resilience. But today, I’m writing from a deeply personal place. Just recently, I lost my beautiful and beloved sister, Joyce Richardson Upshaw, after her courageous 12-year battle with colon cancer. As the one of the oldest of our eight siblings, Joyce was not just my sister—she was our rock, our queen, and an inspiration to us all.
Rest in peace, dear First Lady Joyce; your light will forever shine in our hearts.
Joyce lived a life that embodied grace, faith, and unyielding strength. She was a retired teacher who dedicated her career to nurturing young minds, hosting unforgettable family gatherings that brought us all together. Thanksgiving dinners at her home were legendary—filled with laughter, delicious food, and that special warmth only she could create. She also organized yearly family luaus (a nod to her love for celebration and culture), girl day out events where we’d pamper ourselves with pampering parties and spa days, having our favorite foods, watching her favorite movies, jewelry dashes to Sam Moon lol, spending time around the pool, and simply enjoying life’s joys.
Her birthday month parties were extravagant affairs, complete with beautiful decorations and, of course, her signature glamorous touch. Joyce was fabulous in every way—always dressed in stunning clothes that made her feel like the queen she was, often crowned with beautiful, elegant crowns that symbolized her regal spirit. She was more than glamorous; she was a beacon of poise and confidence, teaching us that self-care isn’t about vanity—it’s about honoring the divine within us.
One of Joyce’s favorite quotes was, “My cup is full,” and oh, how she lived by those words. For her, it meant embracing abundance in every moment, even amidst hardship. She had an incredible family that was the center of her world: her amazing husband, Reverend Dexter, who stood by her side through it all; her three incredible children—Pastor Dexter Jr., Deandre, and Danielle—who carry on her legacy of faith and love; and her six precious grandchildren, who brought her endless joy.
As her sisters and brother, we mourn her loss deeply; she was one of our eldest sibling, the one who guided us with wisdom and unconditional love. Losing her has left a void in our family, but it has also reminded us of the values she instilled: a legacy of unwavering faith, strong family bonds, and the importance of self-care to keep our cups overflowing.
In the midst of this grief, I’ve been reflecting on how we can honor Joyce’s memory by taking care of ourselves. Grief is a profound journey, and it’s okay to feel its weight. In fact, releasing your emotions—through tears, journaling, or quiet reflection—is good for the soul. I’ve learned that crying isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a release that allows healing to begin. As we navigate loss, let’s remember that self-care is essential for maintaining a “full cup.” Here are some practical tips I’ve gathered from my own wellness journey, inspired by Joyce’s life:
1. Prioritize Emotional Release: Allow yourself to grieve openly. Set aside time each day to cry, talk to a trusted friend, or write in a journal. As Psalm 34:18 reminds us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” This act of vulnerability is a form of self-care that lightens your emotional load and prevents burnout.
2. Nurture Your Body and Mind: My beloved Sister Joyce always emphasized the importance of pampering yourself, just like her girl day out events. Incorporate simple routines like taking a warm bath, going for a walk in nature, or enjoying a favorite meal. Physical self-care boosts your energy and helps combat the fog of grief. Remember her favorite scripture, a variation of Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Lean on this truth to find the strength to keep going, one step at a time.
3. Connect with Loved Ones: Joyce’s gatherings taught us the power of community. Reach out to family and friends, even if it’s just for a virtual chat. Hosting small, meaningful events—like a family dinners, and luau in her honor—can foster connection and shared healing. Surround yourself with those who uplift you, as they did for Joyce with her children, husband, and grandchildren.
4. Incorporate Spiritual Practices: First Lady Joyce a woman of true faith- loved one line sayings from our grandparents, and parents, and the psalms and proverbs for added guidance and wisdom. So, draw from the Psalms for comfort during grief. Psalm 23:4 says, “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Spend time in prayer, meditation, or reading scriptures that resonate with you. This spiritual self-care fills your cup with hope and reminds us of Joyce’s legacy of faith.
5. Celebrate Small Wins and Legacy: Grief can feel overwhelming, but focus on the positives Joyce left behind. She was a queen who wore her crowns with pride, symbolizing her fabulous strength and resilience. Honor her by celebrating your own victories, no matter how small. This could mean hosting a family event or simply affirming your worth daily. By doing so, we keep her spirit alive and build a legacy of faith, family, and self-love for future generations.
Joyce’s life was a testament to what it means to live with a full cup—despite the 12-year battle with colon cancer, she remained glamorous, strong, and devoted. Her children, Pastor Dexter Jr., Deandre, and Danielle, along with her baby love or her life her beloved husband. Reverend Dexter Upshaw, and her six grandchildren, are a living reminder of her enduring impact. As her sisters and brother, we hold onto the memories of her laughter, her wisdom, and her unshakeable faith. She taught us that true wellness comes from within, fueled by love, self-care, and the knowledge that we can face anything with strength.
In summary, as we grieve First Lady Joyce Richardson Upshaw, let’s commit to filling our own cups through self-care, emotional release, and community. Her favorite quote, “My cup is full,” challenges us to find abundance even in loss. Rest in eternal peace, my dear sister—you were, and always will be, our queen. If you’re navigating grief, know that you’re not alone; reach out, share your story, and take that first step toward healing.
Stay Tune for the "First Lady Joyce My Cup is Full Project"
With love and light, and reverence.
See You in the Morning my Beautiful Beloved Sister!
Wellness Coach Jennifer
#GriefAndHealing #SelfCareJourney #InMemoryOfFirstLadyJoyce #LegacyOfFaith #WellnessWarrior
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